Good morning ya jackholes...I've had a pretty boring ass morning. All I've done today is wrote death threats to those ugly bitches on Sex and the City, reenacted the pottery wheel scene from Ghost, smoked a Basic, listened to a little a Edie Brickell, slit my neighbors throat, enjoyed some gas station nachos, pawned my dead grammas hearing aids, talked trash to the geriatric fucks at the park, became a methmatician, lost a bet with CZ, had to clean the house in nothing but my underwear, wrote a letter to my personal savior; Jesus, went and visited Jesus at his landscaping job, shanked Drake; AKA Wheelchair Jimmy, accused my neighbor of being Fidel Castro, wore 3D glasses to Kroger, kept saying "you wouldn't believe what your ass looks like in 3D" to bitches at Kroger, ate a whole sandwich bag of Bugles leftover from my kids lunch, vomited up a greasy pasty Bugle mess, sang the only part of "It's so Cold in the D" chorus over and over in my head, caught others singing the chorus to "It's so Cold in the D," and fashioned a shank out of toothbrush.
•Now when an old person has trouble remembering something they say they're having a Rick Perry moment.
•Jersey Shore is ruining our childrens lives...and I think Snooki probably smells like a taco.
•Live Links commercials make me homicidal.
•Why is everybody at Sam's Club so ugly?
No comments:
Post a Comment