It's my anniversary today, so I haven't done much except listened to the sobering wisdom of Miss Dolly Parton, did a dance routine to 9 to 5, played cricket, made everyone call me "Lester" all day, played bank, watched Charles in Charge, wrote death threats to Scott Baio, watched Ryan's Hope, wrote death threats to the producers for canceling Ryan's Hope, had a lively exchange of ideas with my dealer, got hot under the collar, wore a pair of Z. Cavaricci's, framed Bob Saget for murder, and wrote fake love letters to Scott Peterson.
•The show "Wipeout" is synonymous with dreck.
•When I told my husband after my optic neuritis surgery that I was almost completely blind in my right eye and fell down, he told me to see with my left eye. Wow...he should've been a doctor.
•How come the Keebler Elves don't have to wear hair nets?
•Shit!! My Golden Grahams, milk and Triscuits expire on 9/11. It's a trifecta of terrorism!!
•Adult Swim advertisements are so stupid sometimes. Stop thinking you're so much deeper than me. It's so stupid that I wouldn't even try to pass that shit off as "abstract art." It fucking sucks. Stop it.
Alright, I gotta get going for my night out on the town. Enjoy your shitty, cold gray Wednesday ya dickheads.
lmao!
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