What's shaking on this rainy Wednesdsy bitches? I'm pretty bored, and this rain is getting in the way of my Senior Aerobics class at the park. So, to occupy myself I've pretended I had powers, started a fire in my dumbass neighbors shed, wore a raspberry beret, bought said beret at a second hand store, baked a soufflé, chopped a redneck into small unrecognizable pieces, took over fiduciary responsibility, started a CCR cover band, dressed up in my "Phantom of the Opera" costume, struggled to keep my bi-polar disorder in check, made a nicoise salad, hung out with a couple of cholos, ate a big ass box of Chocodiles, worked out in my spandex outfit, talked with a fake British accent, called people Gov-ner, got hooked on hallucinogenic berries, worked on my papier mâché, and wrote yet another death threat to Don Johnson of that smash hit series, "Miami Vice."
•I think if the CIA ever looked inside my head all they'd find is old "What's Happening" reruns, cigarette butts and a neglected conscience.
•My frozen yogurt shop went out of business...probably because I didn't sell frozen yogurt, but VCR's and guns.
Thanks a lot snitches.
•There's nothing fun about "fun size" Snickers. What's fun about a little ass candy bar?
•Why doesn't Bill Maher or Alan Grayson run for president?
•Why do people use the term "sweating bullets?"
Then when they do use this "turn of phrase" they do so incorrectly?
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