Good Sunday morning ya heathens who didn't go to worship. Instead you're reading my blog...which makes you not only a heathen but a delinquent as well. I myself didn't feel like drinking the Kool Aid or joining a cult, so instead I poked pins in a picture of Kim Kardashian, was a roadie on a campaign trail, ate a whole box of Dramamine, went to the dojo in my Zubaz pants, ate a strangers leftover spaghetti, solicited drugs, put Lil' Wayne to bed in a rap battle, stabbed my neighbor in the leg, erased the eyes of everyone in a magazine, pretended to be a salesman at Gardner White, enjoyed a root beer float, played Rock Band, watched The Outlaw Josie Wales, ruled the world, drank scotch on the rocks, toasted to the marriage of Luke and Laura on General Hospital, protested Starbucks, learned the fine art of calligraphy, took a celebratory bite off my murder victims finger in the freezer, and drew mustaches on all the people in a magazine.
•Me and that crazy husband from "Sleeping with the Enemy" are a lot alike. Except for that whole physical abuse thing.
•Why is Drake famous? This dude is fucking horribly untalented. I didn't believe him as "Wheelchair Jimmy" and I certainly don't believe him as a "rapper."
•I wanna host a "Newlywed" type game in my basement, but only with friends.
•Rock Band. Another thing I kick ass at when I'm high.
•I like to fancy myself as a modern day Kerouac.
Wheelchair Jimmy..... LMAO
ReplyDeleteI was tossing around calling him "Kid in Wheelchair" or "Wheelchair Jimmy."
ReplyDelete